Computer jokes

[elecplus]

We need a section for computer jokes

I'll start with this one:

Q: Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.

[seebart]

OK that's a pretty good start. This better become a looong thread.

[fohat]

TOP TEN LIES HEARD BY SERVICE ENGINEERS

1. The company appreciates all of the long hours you put in.
2. We'll get you an answer today.
3. It's always run that way.
4. You're the only one we have who can do this work.
5. If we paid you for overtime, you would be less of a professional.
6. We'll have the equipment ready for you when you get here.
7. Our operators and mechanics will get you anything that you ask for.
8. If we can just fix it well enough to get by for a year, we'll do a major rebuild.
9. We don't know why the equipment broke down.
10. It has been tested at the factory.

TOP TEN LIES TOLD BY SERVICE ENGINEERS

1. It will take a minimum of eight hours.
2. I'll send a final report within a week.
3. I've never worked on one of these before.
4. I lost the receipt.
5. None of our other customers have this problem.
6. I had to rent the big car because they were out of little ones.
7. I had to drive all day.
8. That's the way it's supposed to operate, there's nothing wrong with it.
9. That was the way I received the equipment
10. I worked through lunch.

[SL89]

I use this tool to make the users feel better. My boss thinks its the funniest thing in the entire world. It's a placebo tool to do ridiculous things (sync the ram, set petaflop rate, etc) and the users love it because they think im fixing their made up problems...

[Mal-2]

ID-ten-T error: aka, the ID-10-T error. Usually verbalized as first listed, this is not restricted to userspace. Sysadmins perform plenty of ID-10-T errors of their own.

PEBCAK: Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard. For situations more permanent than a simple ID-10-T error.

[Hak Foo]

"Hewlitt-Packard". They're a joke.

This is an old favourite: http://repeater-builder.com/molotora/go ... 120-bw.pdf

[Halvar]

Bitcoin mining on a 1960s IBM Mainframe

[sth]

A TCP packet walks into a bar.
TCP: "Hi, I'd like a beer."
Bartender: "You'd like a beer?"
TCP: "Yes, I'd like a beer."

[scottc]

What's the best thing about UDP jokes? I don't care whether you get them or not.

[chzel]

...ACK

[Muirium]

Okay, let's dial it up.

There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who know binary, and those who aren't picking up objects to throw at me for using this one!

[chzel]

Yeah...that is a bit cheap..seebart was about to post it I think, but deleted it!
Always funny but overused...

[Halvar]

[andrewjoy]

A SQL query walks into a bar and sees two tables. He walks up to them and says 'Can I join you?

[fohat]

This one is 30 years old, but still funny.

[andrewjoy]

http://bofh.ntk.net/BOFH/index.php

i love reading this, its very funny, even more so now i work in a primarily unix environment

[idollar]

A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers
http://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc1149

[chzel]

April 1st RFCs are all epic!

Edit: http://www.blug.linux.no/rfc1149/writeup/

[chzel]

Not exactly Computer related, but...

an25fa.pdf

(350.83 KiB) Downloaded 226 times

Scroll to the last page...
Engineers...

[fifted]

A favorite from college days:

Q: Why couldn't the lisp function go out at night?

Spoiler:

A: Because her parens wouldn't let her!

Edit: (wocka (wocka (wocka)))

[fifted]

All right, replying to myself because I can't help it.

Q: Why didn't the Haskell function fit in with his family?

Spoiler:

A: Because it was dysfunctional.

wocka $ wocka $ wocka

[andrewjoy]

Why did the Voip system fail ?

Because some idiot nocked out the cable between the server and the switch.

Oh wait thats not a joke it just happend today

In my defence that coms cab is an embarrassment to the person who was here last and they should feel bad . And the cable had no clip on it

[Halvar]

Admin 1: We now introduced voice over IP throughout the whole company.
Admin 2: So, what's the point?
Admin 1: Well, err, for example, no pesky calls any more when the network breaks down...

[wlhlm]

Nice one!

[andrewjoy]

lol

they are on a separate lan, unfortunately

[fohat]

I decided to troll through some of my humorous photos.

[fifted]

Posted this week:



Didn't get much of it the first time I looked through it, but e.g. 11->14 grows on me with time.

[gogusrl]

http://thewebsiteisdown.com/

enjoy

[seebart]

Halvars joke is actually becoming reality in Germany. Telekom is planning to switch most of their customers to voice IP without the infrastructure actually being ready for that.

[wlhlm]

http://thewebsiteisdown.com/

enjoy

Thanks I indeed enjoy it Just watched #4. Hilarious how the admin plays some nethack in between the madness.